Leonardo di Caprio is on his deathbed. His friends and family surround him in his final moments. “My only regret - is that I never won an Oscar.” His family looks panic-stricken. Slowly they begin pulling hundreds of Oscars from random places like kitchen cabinets and beneath his bed. “We thought you’d have found them by now” they say. His last, fleeting word escapes his lips - “FUCK.”